The Truth About Puppies

How’s the new puppy? a friend asked the other day.

Oh he’s great! Such fun!

Bet the boys adore him!?

They are best friends already!

At this point I had to turn around and check that my pants weren’t actually, physically on fire.

Yes, he’s adorable and very sweet-natured. Yes, the kids refer to him as “Marlowe, my friend”.

But the truth is, puppies are hard work. Not colic-y newborn hard work, or newly-mobile toddler hard work.

But trying to temper all that boundless energy, coupled with his constant pursuit of all things toxic, ill-advised, and downright dangerous means that by the end of the day I’m exhausted.

So if I were to be honest about what it’s really like to have a puppy, this is what my day sounds like:

No, this is my bit of banana. You’ve had yours … Okay, okay, there’s no need to sing an operetta about it – here!


What’s that in your mouth? oh for goodness sake! Rocks/Playmobile people/Lego/wood chips/Gloves/Pens are not food!


(While out on a walk) What is he?
You mean other than crazy? He’s a lab. A 5 month old lab. So yeah: pure crazy.


Get off the table! People eat at the table. You are not people. Sorry. Don’t look at me like that


Has anyone seen the puppy? <small whine>
Oh no! he’s stuck behind the TV / in the pantry/ under the coffee table. AGAIN.


C’mon we discussed this: Be smarter than the yield sign.
Ok fine, I’ll go around.
No, don’t follow me!


What’s he doing?
I think it’s meant to be an impression of a dead bug. 

Does this mean he’ll sleep past 5 a.m. tomorrow?
Unlikely, given that he’s never done it before. 

I’m not sleeping. This is savasana. I am a yoga dog.






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  1. Oh man! I was talking with a co-worker about this just last week. Puppies are soooo much work, but I’d have puppies in my house all the time if I could.

  2. haha Yoga puppy! Love it. Labs can be full on as pups, but with grant training they are awesome!!!!! We have a 3 month old British Bulldog, she is so adorable, but she is really nippy at the moment so we are loving gumboots right now lol

    1. Aww! Still a baby! What a great idea about gumboots (or wellies as I’d probably call them, much to my husband’s amusement!). In another few weeks (days?) we’ll have a heap of snow, so hopefully I can use this trick!

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