An Ode To My Tantruming Threenager

child tantrum stubborn toddler

An Ode to My Tantruming Threenager*

Please get off the floor, dear child, it’s neither clean nor warm
And if you thrash about like that, your brand-new clothes will get torn.

It will do you no good, my love, to cry and scream and fight
Mummy isn’t going to buy you what you want, though you can yell with all your might.

It doesn’t help your case, dear heart, that your meltdown is over frozen peas
Despite the plaintive wailing, your protest won’t weaken me in the knees.

Holding your breath does garner you attention, this much is true,
But if you carry on much longer, sweet, your lips will turn quite blue.

Your caterwauling might get some stares from passers-by,
But us mums know the drill, so we just shrug, smile and sigh.

Enough is enough my darling, it’s time to end this show,
So you choose — get up or be picked up — it’s time for us to go!

*my inner book geek requires me to acknowledge this is not really an ode. Unless, that is, Wikipedia has created an entry for The Mummy Ode: no standard meter, usuallyΒ humorous, invariably composed on mobile phone between sips of wine.Β 

photo credit: <a href=”″>Grrr!</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a> <a href=””>(license)</a>


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  1. Ha ha this is great – I’m a sucker for a rhyme πŸ™‚
    I had to read this on #wineandboobs because we have a tantrumming three year old too – most recent tantrum was over a coffee filter – the joys of toddler rearing hey?!

  2. Haha love your rhyming skillllz. I feel like mine is getting into the brat phase however the trantrums may come back at any moment without notice. We are mostly in the “I don’t WANT to” with a little “I’m NOT doing that” ahhh #famjamlinky

  3. I like this ode! It reminds me of when my youngest threw a fit in the middle of a parking lot. That was some scary stuff but I picked him up and took him home. He got sent to his room without any toys or TV. He’s 10 now and doesn’t remember it but I sure do! Because it happened in a parking lot it scared the crap out of me! Again, great ode:)

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