10 Types of Preschoolers

With the new school year in September, there are a lot of toddlers who, like my littlest child, will be following their bigger siblings and starting playschool or daycare. Its now been three years since my first son started at his wonderful playschool, so I have an inckling of what to expect when we enrol our youngest for his first “class”.

You’ve probably read about the types of moms you’ll meet on the drop-off, but there are also types of kids yours will meet on their first day. Here are ten of the most memorable — or notorious! — stand-outs:

1) The Screamer – most kids cry for the first week or two when they start in a new place, but there’s always one child who screams at the very top of their lungs all day long for months on end. And even when they get used to the new setting, this is usually the child who continues to scream when things go wrong or they don’t get their way. Maybe they will grow up to be opera singers?

2) The Biter – most kids go through a biting phase at some stage. It’s mortifying for the parents who feel as though they should be doing something but they don’t know what! (*looks away, shamefaced*). If your child hasn’t starting this practice yet, just wait: karma being slow but reliable it’s pretty much a guarantee that as soon as you start thinking “the parents should really do something about that” it will be your precious moppet that starts unleashing his or her chompers on the world.

3) The comic – this is usually a middle or youngest sibling who is used to putting on a bit of an act for attention. They have an innate sense of timing and will happily perform for a crowd — even if that crowd is just one person. Whether it’s wearing a toy saucepan as a hat or pretending to swallow toy trains, there’s nothing too silly for this child to try if it means they’ll get a laugh.

4) The capitalist – this little one is a born salesperson. If someone has a toy, they’ll find a way to trade, “borrow” or otherwise acquire their wants. Sometimes, they go to elaborate lengths constructing a game from another plaything in order to lure their mark away from the item they are actually speculating on. You just know this will be the child who wins all the prizes for selling the most cookies door-to-door in a few years.

5) The quiet one – this child is perfectly able to talk, but they are just naturally quiet, preferring to play by themselves in a corner, usually with a series of stuffy friends. Occasionally, they will break from their reverie to make a pronouncement on classroom proceedings like a diminutive biblical prophet, and everyone — children and teachers alike — nods in solemn awe.

6) The ants-in-the-pants – the opposite of the quiet one, this child is into everything and cannot sit still! They bounce around the room, playing with one thing, moving onto another, doing a little jig, rolling, wiggling and jumping all the way. And trying to get them to sit and eat? No way! Life is a picnic to be enjoyed on the run … and sometimes off the floor!

7) The epic napper – from noon until pushing four p.m. this kid is out like a light. The others might be staging a miniature coup d’état around them, but nothing and no-one is waking this one.

8) The giant – this little one isn’t so little! They are routinely mistaken for a child a year or two (or three) older than they really are, which can be useful at theme parks, but less-so when the judgement police spot a typical two-year old tantrum and start to tsk-tsk.

9) The communist – their philosophy of toys is “what’s mine is mine at all times,  what’s yours is mine as soon as you drop it, and what’s not been claimed yet … is always already mine”.

10) The Snuggler – this child really just wants to cuddle all day long. They’ll be mollified with a stuffy toy for a while, but as soon as an adult sits down, they make a b-line for that lap and cuddle on in. No wonder they are usually a favourite!

Have your kids met these adorable but sometimes infuriating little tikes? What would you add to the list? Love to hear comments!

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9 comments

  1. There’s a bikter/hiter etc at N’s nursery. All the more nightmareish because her mum works there. She’s also the giant of the year group too, although thankfully the younger group than mine’s in.

    Most of yours definitely run true – I think N’s a combination of a few…including teacher’s pet. He likes giving hugs, does what he’s told, helps tidy up, eats all his food, and the other children seem to like talking to him even if they’re usually really quiet. Shame he doesn’t do all of these things at home as well! #thelist

  2. Wow! You know what, I used to work as a teacher aid in a preschool and I never thought to organize them like that but it’s so true. There is always at least one in every classroom. Thanks for sharing!

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