We started another potty-training journey again last week. After many, many hours spent talking about the pee, encouraging the pee and moping up when the pee materialized unexpectedly, let’s just say it didn’t go as well as we’d hoped. We’re still working on it, but here are the top ten signs your child is most definitely NOT going to be potty trained any time soon:
1) he doesn’t care if he sits in his own poop for so long it turns into a stinky, hardened pancake
2) he won’t tell you his bladder or his underpants are full to bursting because he’s too busy playing
3) when he finally gets on the potty, he thinks it’s for sitting and reading or playing on his toy phone — hmm, wonder where he learned that?
4) he’ll happily sit on the potty until his legs go numb … but nothing happens. Not a drop, though you both inspect the still-dry bowl several times in vain. But just as soon as you put pants back on him he poops and pees.
5) thinking that telling him he can wear “big boy” pants would make him excited to keep trying backfired because he’s still getting over not being the “baby” anymore
6) he poops in his sleep all.the.time.
7) he uses the extra padding as cushioning for the more extreme sports he gets into, particularly the 5 ft climbing frame leap, and the sliding sandbox dive
8) he uses those diapers to store toys. Many’s the time you’ve gone to change him only to find two toy cars, three Lego people and half the Thomas and friends cast hanging out in there.
9) he’s developed the trip to the change table into the perfect reconnaissance mission to locate the good candy and finally …
10) the “sure fire”, “no-fail” methods weren’t sure and did fail. Sometime you’ve just got to console yourself with the old adage that he’ll probably be potty trained in time for college. Probably.